There are two I’s in friendship.


This weekend I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to meet new people at NAMM, and, whether by choice or by chance, get in touch with old friends. There was a lot of greetings and keeping in touch, all wrapped up in one amazing weekend.

This post is about friends. My friends. Well, and I suppose your friends too.

When I look at the people I know, and who are a part of my life, I am astounded by the uniqueness of each one. Not just who they are as a person, but how the actual relationship is.

I have a friend that I can text all the time about random things in the day.
I have a friend where the conversations are always involve the deep philosophical quandaries of life.
I have a friend with whom I do nothing but have racist quips with.
I have a friend where we talk about God all the time and it’s amazing.
I have a friend where all we do is have fun and get into trouble.
I have a friend that I rarely talk to, but when we do it goes on for over five hours every time.
I have a friend who is just a completely positive influence and the person I go to whenever I need advice or just an ear to hear me process what I’m going through.
I have a friend that I miss very much, all the time.
I have a friend who literally goes through the same things I do at the same time.

They are all important to me, and they’re friendship is valued precisely and uniquely because of it.

That being said, expectations in these friendships get in the way.

I hadn’t realized it, but there were some times when I wished that a friendship with one person would resemble more like a friendship with someone else. Like, perhaps the texting aspect with a friend I rarely talk to, or to the one I miss all the time. But then.. it would change the friendship. It would alter that uniqueness. It may sound stupid, but I know you yourself have had friendships with people that are defined in very specific ways, and you just don’t do things with them that you’d do with others for some tacit and unexplainable reason.

I used to be the one who always wanted to change those things, who believed in my own power to change things for my gain. I did that, and it ruined some really great relationships. I ought to just be thankful that I have these bonds, and that they are what they are. I should just “be,”  and be content in that. They are God-given, they are unique. They are wonderful.

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