bring it.

this summer was good to me. it was a chance for me to recover, and i needed it. though it took awhile, it’s finally finished. I’m done with hurting. thank you NLP.

this entire past school year has pushed me to my emotional limits. i went through the absolute worst experience of my life abroad that rocked me down to nothing in the Fall, and i dealt with the most painful and draining heartbreak that completely shattered me in the Spring. ahh, drugs and women.. the world never changes.

but hey — i survived.

i’m alive today despite leviathan struggles, and i have grown tremendously in strength and wisdom. from now on, it will take a lot more to break my confidence and who i am. let’s just hope that i stay myself this time. i don’t anticipate things to get much easier when i go back, and while i’m scared of what’s going to happen to me next, i realize that i can’t stay in hawaii; my growth has to be in california.

i watched Step Up for the first time today, and i liked it. it made me reflect on my year, and boy did i have a rough one. even now i’m still continuing to heal from it, but i’m glad i have a few precious individuals in my life to process everything, who can help me extract every nugget and lesson from the experiences i’ve had, bringing valuable insight and understanding. it’s good to have other people around you, so you can be reminded that you’re not alone. often times, and i’m sure most can relate, i’m tricked into thinking that if the one person who i want to care doesn’t, then it feels like nobody does. and even when we logically know it’s not true, we still “feel” alone, and that’s dangerous. having others around helps, even if it’s people i never expected or thought would be there for me. one lesson i needed to learn was to be genuinely grateful that somebody does care and cares enough to show it, even if it’s not the person you were originally hoping for.

shit happens. but so what? it makes things interesting, challenging, and more worth it. i have a purpose and a destiny to fulfill. i have passions to live out. i have kids to teach. i have people to love. i have a life to live. thank God i’ve stopped thinking of ways to end it. i’m a great person, and i deserve great things. it’s time for me to man up and get them. so while i know there’s much more hardships to come, i’m prepared..

.. so bring it.

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