going “home.”

it’s amazing when a song speaks to you:

the boy’s gone,
the boy’s gone home.

and what will happen to a face in a crowd
when it finally gets too crowded?
and what will happen to the origins of sound
after all the sounds have sounded?
well i hope i never have to see that day,
but by God i know it’s headed our way,
so i better be happy now that the boy’s going home..

and what becomes of a day for those who rage against it?
and who will sum up the phrase for all left standing around in it?
well i suppose we’ll all make our judgment calls,
we’ll walk it alone, stand up tall then march to the fall
and we better be happy now that we’ll all go home..

be so happy with the way you are,
jut be happy that you made it this far,
go on, be happy now
please be happy now..

because you say that this is something else,
this is something else..

well i tried to live a life i lived it so well,
when it’s all over is it heaven or is it hell?
see i better be happy now that no one can tell,
nobody knows..

i’m gonna be happy with the way that i am,
i’m gonna happy with all that i stand for,
and i’m gonna happy now cuz the boy’s going home.

the boy’s gone home.

it’s always hard to regain your equilibrium after being vulnerable, especially in front of someone that you care about what they think of you.. but when you realize that they won’t think less of you for showing weakness, and that they’re there for you no matter what, then there’s no reason to be afraid of anything. it touches me to know i’m cared about and i’m accepted for who i am.. but it’s also great to have a great friend who pries lovingly to get me to change for the better. we need people like that sometimes, even if they do get on your nerves in a strange and bittersweet way.

so today i want to feel better. i have a lot of studying and school work to do this week, but at least i’m going to do my best to make the most of everything. if i can keep it up, i’m sure in time i’ll be fine. and if i try my best to be happy, i know i can be. after all, i have friends. and running into them is always pleasant.

but today it’s going to be about me. i will be happy for who i am, but i will love myself enough to change. then i’ll truly be at home with me.

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