i can say that i’m blessed to have close and meaningful friends in my life, and i really can’t imagine where i’d be without them.. who they are, what they do, how they act, and what we share shape my values and attitudes about everything. and i’m grateful for that.
i’ve also realized that we choose to keep certain people around because we depend on each of them for help in certain aspects of our lives. it’s not to say that we’re using these people in any way, because we’re not — we care deeply about these people and would do anything for them, and they know that. but it is true.. we do assign roles to those who are important to us because we rely on them for the strengths they offer; we in turn offer our strengths for their benefit as well, creating a mutual bond that can serve as the foundation of the friendship.
think about it: there are specific people that we feel most comfortable with when talking about our problems, there are people that we choose to be around because of the incredible ways they can make things more fun, there are people who we prefer to sit next to in boring assemblies because of their witty sarcastic joke-making, there are people who we would rather study with because their determination to do well makes us focus too, etc. etc.. and while one friend can be all of these things, we nonetheless appreciate these people for the uniqueness they bring into our world, and depending on our mood or what we need, we seek out those specific people to fulfill them. it’s something everybody does, and it’s perfectly acceptable conduct because we have earned the privilege to call them a “friend” by promising that we are also there for them whenever our hand is needed.. the friendship is a mutual, beautiful, living and breathing connection sustained by a give-and-take transaction done in love.
this is probably a very obvious point for some, and while i know it’s a given, it’s a pretty recent epiphany that for me needs to be written and for my personal reminder (the decision to make it into a blog is a just a “why not?” type deal).. and if a person can realize and understand the nature of a relationship they have, then he or she can truly appreciate the friendship for what it is, and not be bummed by what it’s not or what it lacks. one only has to recognize and accept who they are in a person’s life to be content with the companionship.. there’s no role that’s better than another since every area of that person’s life is important and needs someone who can be there if necessary.. and it’s okay if you want to mean more to someone else, to be more, or to occupy multiple roles in their life, so long as it doesn’t blindside you from seeing how much you mean to them already (after all, that’s how friends get closer — when they take more preference in more aspects of your life). but it’s important to remember that it’s no reason to go crazy with thoughts and worries, especially when you realize there’s really nothing to lose your sanity over.
so why do we choose who we choose to see insides of our world, and why do they allow us into theirs? why are we sometimes completely content being near their presence, while other times we feel they don’t care about us at all? why is it that we may fluctuate between feeling desolate and alone versus grateful and fulfilled around the same group people? do the roles and functions change and switch according to our needs, or do the people change and fall away from the positions we once assigned them to? i’m not going to even try and answer these questions, let alone think about them, since the entire dynamic of relationships itself can’t be explained. all i know is that i have friends i can rely on, each for different things, and they can rely on me for whatever i’m worth to them.
so who are we in the lives of those who are close to us?
Friends. enough said.
so thanks for all that you do,
and thank you for your closeness.
i love you all,