Think. Slowly: Literally. Figuratively. Mentally Retardationamally.

I wonder why when we think back at something stupid we’ve said, we say it back to ourselves out loud. It just makes it sound even more idiotic. You ever take a moment to just look back and reflect on what you’ve done? Go on, do it – right now. Think back………….. yeah, that’s right, admit it. You were a dumbass, and you know it =) Like the time you debated jaywalking across the street at the crosswalk, and when your balls finally descended and you decided to do it, the sign flashed, “walk.” Maybe you were in your car at the red light, and you looked to the sides of the street to ensure a clean getaway, and right when you gassed it the light changed green. Or maybe you thought you and this other person were hitting things off, and then you decided to say something you thought was clever and pun-tastic, but the response you got was an awkward, deafening silence. Or maybe even that time when you snorted for the first time ever while laughing, something you thought would have never happened to you ever.

It’s weird how that’s what we wind up thinking about most of the time. And good for you if you didn’t think eye-rolling, forehead-banging-against-the-wall-after-the-fact thoughts; that just means you don’t have to read this entry. But for those who did (myself included), maybe it’s time for a little perspective change. The way I see it, if you’re going to wind up making a fool out of yourself, you might as well have fun doing it.

For those of us who are practically blind with 20/500 vision, spend the whole day just walking outside without your glasses or contacts on, and enjoy the blurry goodness. Just don’t drive, lest you collide into a bright, golden retriever on the side of the street, which had a surprisingly voluminous bladder. You’d be surprised at what your imagination can make of a fuzzy, indefinite image of your friends’ thumbnail pictures, or how the incandescent balls of evaporated water up in the sky look sort of like… something else. You know what they are, but you just can’t be sure cuz your glasses are missing.

For the vertically challenged, stuff crumpled pieces of paper in your shoes and walk around, relishing in the cool stratospheric breezes that refresh your eyes seeing half-an-inch higher than normal. Try it. You’ll appreciate the subtle difference. Maybe not, but it’d still be cool to try.

For the fashion insensitive, choose your favorite pair of jeans, like my legendary, black denim nautical jeans, and wear them for a week straight. Two weeks, perhaps. See if anyone notices. For fun. You know nobody will notice, but you do it anyway just because, or more probably because you hate doing laundry. And you’ll worry for the people who did actually notice your experiment, and then you’ll start worrying if their knack for analysis has enabled them to discover Stuart, the name of that one nosehair you’ve been neglecting to trim out of sentiment.

Where am I going with this? No clue. These were just a few, random, top-headed ideas to have an excuse to be intellectually stupid, and to feign naivety and at least attempt to be curious like kids. I find that it keeps life fun and interesting… perhaps even more real. There’s more to life than the box we’re thinking in. There’s more to see than the five flimsy walls of cardboard that was placed over our heads without our consent, blocking us from ‘reality,’ preserving our innocence. but we’re older now, and so it’s no use to remain closed-minded. the world, like our bodies, is changing rapidly, and so we must constantly adopt a newer, more learned mindset to continue to make sense of things. we don’t lose innocence as we get older — we simply find no use to be keeping it. and so we inadvertently toss it out, saying that we “lost” it as an excuse to be “grown-up,” to be corrupted, to be adulterated.

if we invest time into it, we eventually are able to see different uses for familiar objects. but it looks like we don’t wait or have patience to do anything anymore, do we? we settle for the instant or the microwaveable stuff when it’s natural, time-consuming counterparts taste so much better, and things don’t seem worth our time if it takes too long. don’t get me wrong, i wholeheartedly agree that time is precious, but things are made precious if time is invested into it. makes sense, right? i say that if you can make any mundane task or event memorable and valuable, then that’s time well spent. use discretion, however… please.

so instead of tossing out our innocence, why don’t we actually invest some time into taking things slowly, and focus on just loving life.. like a little kid turning over rocks and being fascinated by what’s underneath, not overlooking anything, just staring at his reflection in a puddle of water and being amazed. you don’t have to be so extreme, or you’ll weird people out… but do put an effort to look on the bright side by choosing not to focus on the darkness in something.. it’s the closest thing we can get to remaining childlike in nature: by simply appreciating things.

it’s true, we’ve all got things to do, people to see, and places to be.. so with the few, precious, seemingly insignificant units of time we have left to do something stupid or to think useless thoughts — use it! So what if while you were trying to sleep, you thought of the time where you tripped in front of a bunch of people 6 years ago.. there’s nothing wrong with that. it probably made you chuckle. you thought back. in some distant, subtly conscious way, that made you into the person you are today. cuz now you’re more careful when you climb stairs. that thought wasn’t useless. it reminded you to keep watching those steps. and so even though that thought kept you awake and you technically lost sleep, you didn’t lose time. so just relax.

taking life slowly may even be hugely beneficial. sure we have dreams, hopes, desires, as well as a timeframe of when we’d like that to happen. and for most of us that timeframe is a pretty short one. unless you’re some remarkable child with a budding, prodigious gift, you’re not likely going to hit superstardom or fulfill your dreams before graduating high school, or even college. likely, it’s going to happen a little bit later. but don’t sweat it, still. you’ve got plenty of time, whether you choose to admit that you do or not. and sure, sometimes the pressure to be successful ASAP entices us to pursue as many shortcuts that we can get, and if you don’t land in jail as a result or something, you could reach your destination. but if you’re successful before you’re actually ready to be, then you just reached your dream prematurely. and really, who likes a premie?

if you chuckled at that innuendo, shame on you.. hah. kidding. we’re adults. we think that way. i do, at least… it kinda negates some of what i wrote about. but i laughed when i thought about it. it made me happy. time well spent. so there.

and that’s the point. just love life. don’t necessarily do what makes you happy, but do what makes you you. don’t rush through anything. things will happen when it’s supposed to happen. but always seize the day. take the time to appreciate what you’ve been overlooking, cuz i assure you it’s time well spent. do crazy fun things just because. but always use discretion. don’t be a child, but be childlike. it doesn’t mean you have to be immature, it just means to put an effort into making life enjoyable for yourself in the simplest ways how.

all i’m saying is to take life slowly. and be stupid… responsibly*

*added for those with intent to sue. just in case.


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